Mind Made - Me

At my Agency we have a rescue dog named Spirit, he is a great example for what we are about to discuss. You see when we adopted him we had no idea what his original name was. So after countless tries to guess, we decided to give him a name that best fit his little puppy personality. The problem was however, we couldn't find one that fit. One person wanted to call him "One Eyed Willie" as he is missing an eye, and I have to say that what we were coming up with went downhill from there. About a week after adopting him a client was playing with him and said that after all he had been through, he had never lost his spirit for life. That's it - "Spirit," and so began the process of teaching him his new name.

Now if you can imagine, at first when we said his new name he just looked at us. We could have been saying boat or rocket ship for all he knew. It was also interesting to see how others began the process of defining him. Spirit doesn't like this or that, he eats this way, and likes to play that way. His identity basket was being filled for him, and he didn't have a clue people were doing it. He was just being himself, and having a wonderful time enjoying all of the attention he was receiving from everyone.

To him he didn't have the stories in his head that others were making about him. We knew he had suffered from several broken ribs, had lost an eye, and was about to be put to sleep as no-one would adopt him at the shelter. His previous puppy parents were nowhere to be found. Thank goodness for Wonder dog rescue who took him away from the shelter the day he was to be put to sleep, we found out about him and adopted him two days later.

One of the main components of what we teach is how to recognize the stories we live by. It can't simply be raining outside. Some say it's raining - and it's horrible. The universe provided the rain - and we provided the horrible. Well in Spirits case it was the same, he didn't suffer from all he had been through, he had no story in the head. It seemed that when we told the adventure of how he came to us, many would feel sad and upset that he had gone through so much. But if you look at Spirit as we told the story, he would be getting a belly rub or simply falling asleep having been worn out from playing fetch. He just lives' his life moment to moment, you see, it is not in his nature to suffer.

We are no different.

Now let's transition to us. The name we have been given for most of us represents "who" we are. It becomes the basket that contains our very lives. It can also be called the Egoic Mind, or, your Personality, or a host of other things we refer to ourselves as. What is so interesting is that in the very beginning of this process, others have already begun to decide for you who you are, and how you will live. Think about it, can you imagine your parents saying things like: oh honey, so-and-so - fill in your name _____ - doesn't like peas, or, so-and-so doesn't like certain sounds, or certain people, as you cry when they hold you, and so forth. Now set in motion, is the beginning of a set of circumstances that will inevitably create a world you "think" you live in. You only see the world through a set of glasses filtered by this conditioning. In a way, your world becomes very small and frightening. If you look deeply at what I am saying, you were born a complete human being, and not a culture, religion or neighborhood. How do we know this - because you could have been adopted and given a new name, new religion, and live in a different neighborhood being conditioned quite differently. Did you change "inside"... or did your "outside" circumstances change. When you know who you are inside, life will change forever - and for the better.

What day were you born? Let's, for a moment, use my birthday as an example. I was born on April 5th, 1962. Now, when did I become me... was it when I was given my name? To my mom and dad, I may have become my name weeks, or even months before I was even born. It may have been the very day, or a few days after I was born that my name was chosen. Nevertheless, my "Mind Made Me" ( MM Me ) for most, was born when we were given our name.

As you grow older, your basket becomes full of these belief systems that have been accumulating sense birth. You are now a caricature in a play; your story line, and how you live and act, are now predetermined for you. You must live up to this role, this neighborhood, culture, family values and so on. When you look at it, you are in the end; not a human being, but a collection of conditioning and belief systems passed down from one generation to another. Better said, if you look at the infinite possibilities of your life, you no-linger have them - instead you are reduced to living in a way that fits only the pattern of conditioning that you believe is real in the mind. This reduction of life or, - cognitive blindness - is one of the main reasons for violence, depression and stress in the world today.
You see this every day when we hear about some group, neighborhood, or country causing violence. In the end, for there to be peace, we must see past this conditioning, and first and for-most, see the humanity in a person beyond all else. A perfect example is those who talk about pro-life, yet some of these same individuals are the first to go to war, be in favor of capital punishment, or discriminate against others. This is a great example of conditioning gone awry. Is it life in all areas that are valued, or our desire to believe our own conditioning, and apply it whenever it is convenient to keep this belief system alive? If you look closely, we see this type of behavior in many areas of today's society.
This blindness, is the reduction of a world that has unlimited ways of living, seeing the world, and the unlimited number of achievements that are possible, and instead you are transformed to living a life instead based on the only way you "think" the world should be. This is like a horse with blinders on. It is a way of living that inside you know you are capable of doing more, but outside you have to fit in, conform to your surroundings. This causes confusion in the mind, and is in a way the only few forms of mental illness I believe. When we live like a puppet, reduced to a program, one side of us knows there is more to life, and yet another is afraid to break free. The stress this causes is enormous.

Domestic Violence is in a way caused by this very thing. One person believes that they have the only way of seeing life, and forces the other partner to live by their rules, or conditioning. Many times in my classrooms I hear the following words - If he or she would only do as I say - we would get along just fine. Many believe this is control, or someone wanting superiority over another. I believe it goes much deeper; it is a deep rooted self image that says - if you take away my world - I will die. This mental death is stronger than the physical one, and for most, many will do whatever necessary to protect their "MM Me" from dying. In a way, we will kill someone else physically, before we will allow our mental image of our-self to be threatened. Our Ego is the ultimate warrior.

What is interesting is this. Look at how one person is raised, their own conditioned "MM Me" ... and they meet someone else with their own individual "MM Me." What this looks like in the mind is two completely different Holodecks, like in the TV show Star Trek - two programs cannot run at once without causing conflict, or better yet, we can call this a "set of rules." Simply said, we treat others as children, and if someone breaks the rules of the game, or conditioning, someone needs to be the keeper of the rules and has to bring the other person back in line. We punish the ones we love in-order to bring them inline, otherwise you can no-longer play. We create a view of the world based on our belief systems. We create our own reality. We not only suffer from it, but we also cause suffering for others as well.

As a child I was fascinated by the story of Pinocchio, here is a puppet just wanting to be a normal child. Without these strings, and the control of how he believes society sees him, wouldn't Pinocchio be free? In the end are we not the same way. Are we not all seeking the ability to break free of the bondage of the conditioning and belief systems that are harming our very lives, and those around us? Or do you wish to remain in bondage, and wonder why you feel a void inside, a loss of life, and a desire for more?

For many, violence, depression, substance abuse, and suicide, are the only way out of this bondage. I see this every day. The voice in the head is full of doom and gloom, they see no way out of a situation or event. This is primarily due to the "MM Me" we have reduced our life to living by. When we only see life through this set of blinders, we quickly realize we don't have the tools to go beyond most set of circumstances. We become trapped in this blindness having only our conditioned responses to rely on. This limited view is like only having a hammer to use as a tool - therefore I must make everything a nail in order to use it. I become frightened of the present moment as I can only rely on my past conditioning to resolve my problems. If I have not been told how to handle something, I become lost and confused, and therefore depressed and unresponsive to life.

You see, for most, this started when you were about 24 months or so old. This was when you began to recognize that when someone called this name you were given - that it was "you" they were referring to. It was about this time that you said "I" or "Me" and recognized this as a "you" and "them." This is the beginning of the separation from humanity. This is for many when the lostness takes place. You now identify as a "thing" - you have become so-and-so. As you age, you continue to be reduced to much less than the infinite possibilities available to you. Instead you are now bound by how you grew up, the conditioning and beliefs that are in-stowed with-in you, as well as the lack of understanding and problems passed down to you by your neighborhood, culture, religion and so on. You receive what I refer to as "your family inheritance."

"The Family Inheritance" is a set of programs that you are now told to operate by, and if you don't, you no-longer fit in. This will be discussed in more detail in another section however, it is important to remember that although I believe it is important to pass things on from one generation to the next. Wouldn't it be wise to insure what is passed on is that which assists our children, and not that which holds them back!

In this basket called "Me" I have to find others who fit into my basket, others who have the same programs, otherwise we are not compatible. If they have different programs, we argue or fight over who is right or wrong, this is the very cause of war and family violence. If your "MM Me" would only do as my "MM Me" asks - then "We" would get along just fine. Many you have heard this time and time again, now you understand why. You are more than your beliefs or conditioning!
Picture this, you have a view of the world, and of who you are. Now, picture your partner with their own view of who they are and how they see the world. What do you believe is the likelihood you see the world the same way? Better yet, does your partner see you the way you see yourself, or visa-versa? I bet they even have a different view of what the relationship should look like. This will ALWAYS happen. No two people will see things the same way. But there is a solution, and we will get into this in the chapter relating to our inner world, the gifts of Innate Wisdom and Consciousness. In this way of seeing life through our Universal Wisdom - we are all the same inside and therefore see the humanity in the other person, and not simply the conditioned similarities or differences.

This Egoic mind, our "MM Me" also has a lot to say about others, and is the little voice in the head that seems to talk to us most of the time, and doesn't shut up even when we try to fall asleep. Here is an example - say you "hate Ice Cream" to yourself in the head, or that you "love cold coffee" and see if right after you say this in the head if there isn't other things that come up on their own. Did you hear other chatter and opinions and beliefs that you didn't ask for, but showed up on their own? I bet this even happens when you see a friend, or a family member you like, or better yet, dislike. Can you tell that the little voice in the head is saying things that you didn't ask for, opinions and memories flood in, and you treat them based on these memories, and not by what the current moment calls for? Are you controlled by this made-up little voice in the head? You no-longer need to be influenced by this; it's full of past and has primarily nothing to do with the present moment. We will discuss how to quiet this Egoic voice in the head in another chapter.

Who would you be without all this chatter? Who would you be without thinking that this name, the basket you hold on to - was you? Or at the very least, was just a part of you, and you could see that life is more than your collection of memories, and beliefs, that have been passed down or accumulated along the way. Who made these rules, who decided for me who I am, why didn't I have a greater say in this. Well, now I do! Today I understand that life is more than conditioning and belief systems. Today I see that these are simply control programs that have held us back and caused me to think of others as less than based on a belief that was passed down. Today I see the humanity in others as the same humanity inside me. Today there is a "we" not only a "me." Today life is full of possibilities and opportunities. I let go of the emotional baggage I held on to as well, as if it was a valuable treasure. I am here to tell you - it's not.

Depression, PTSD, and so-on says - "I am an event." Substance abuse says - "I can't get over an event." In this state our "MM Me" is even more conditioned and life is even smaller in these instances. It says that I have been reduced to almost nothing, yet this is only a "thought." If we can see that thoughts are only real in the head, and not always reality, life changes forever. Think of the little voice in the head as if it was a noisy upstairs neighbor. Sometimes you pay attention to them, and sometimes you don't. It is like living near the train tracks or next to an airport - you just stop listening. Yes - it is that simple!

For many you can look at your garage, or the clutter you have collected in your home or car. We seem to understand that we need to clean house in order for it to be livable. We understand this in the outside world, but have never looked inside to see what needs cleaned out as well. You see it is not the outside world that is problematic, but how we deal with it inside. It is not how others treat me, but how I deal inside with what is going on. When I stay on my side of the street, inside, to keep it clean and in-order, life became better. I could see things differently now, where before I was blind and unable to see life beyond an event or set of circumstances. When I understood that it was my "thinking" about an event, and not the event that caused me emotional harm - life changed.

In many ways this is the core of what we teach. Who would you be if you didn't believe that your life is simply a reflection of your past, and instead realized that life is still ahead of you? The final chapter has not been written yet, and that in the end, what matters most is the "who" you are inside... and not "what" you have been through outside! We live two very distinct worlds at once. We have the outside physical world we live in; our jobs, homes, family, our body and so-on. We also have the inside world we never seem to understand, or know how to deal with. This is because we live in a world that says you need to look a certain way, act a certain way, and believe certain things in-order to fit in. We have become so busy dealing with this set of belief systems and conditioning, we have forgotten the most important aspect of life - our inside world.

You can go through life seeing life from the rear view mirror, or through the windshield, either way you take the trip. Today I can decide to pull the covers over my head and stay home, or go out and make something of the day. Either way the day happens, no-mater if I decide to attend or not. In the end it was me who held me back more than anyone else!

I am not saying that all conditioning is bad. Matter of fact, I like the idea that you have been conditioned to drive on a certain side of the road, and that it's best to stop at a red light, and drive on a green one. It is not the physical effects that for the most part I am referring to in this section, but the emotional implications that seem to do the most harm. Think about it, if I listened to the inner voice of our innate wisdom. Do we need a law that says, don't kill? Don't we know inside this is wrong, and if we all listened to our inner voice, we wouldn't kill. What has happened however, is we have been lead so far away from this inner voice of wisdom, that we have become a mindless set of conditioned response instruments that if there is no law, then we look for ways to get away with it. Have you ever said, laws were meant to be broken? Have you ever looked for a loophole to get away with something, yet if you listened to your inner reasoning, your wisdom, it is telling you to not do it. Yet the other voice in the head is saying - go for it - you won't get caught! When I listen to my inner voice of wisdom, and not the conditioned mind, I live by a higher set of rules, and have my own, and others, best interest in mind.

Harm none! Most people look for ways to protect themselves from others, but I have a question for you. Who is protecting you - from you? In the end I had to look at how I harmed me. In the end the "MM Me," the beliefs that I lived by - my memories, conditioning, and thinking, was more dangerous to me than any poison. In the end it was me who harmed me more than anyone else. It was my fear, my worries and always wishing that this or that had never happened. It was never my fantasy world that was the problem - it was that I couldn't live in reality. We all have a desire for this or that to be different. We say things like - would have - could have - should have - as if this fantasy will change things. We can all live, well suffer may be more like it, in this fantasy world of wishful thinking, but how many of us can live in reality... the truth of "what is."

You see, the "MM Me" does not live in "what is."The "MM Me" is based on past conditioned thinking, and cannot live in the present moment of reality. This is the "I" or "Me" voice in the head. It says, "I am this way" or "I am that way." It is also the same voice that says, "I cannot change who I am." In a short answer, yes you can change, and quite easily. You can be the wise, awake, human being that is just waiting to come out and play. The real you is the one who loves life and see's past the "MM Me."

Understand this; life is more than a collection of events or belief systems. In the end, life is what you make of it. You can cut the strings of conditioning, like Pinocchio, or remain part of the mindless collection of people who are suffering inside, unable to see past a set of events, their neighborhood, culture, or their own thinking. You are more than that. So much more!